This entry’s a bit different from the previous ones, this is a small glimpse of how I usually write without constraints, without thinking (as if my hands have a mind of their own). My feelings–raw.
I needed to write, so that I will never forget.
My first day as a 22 year old was simple and pleasant (I love how some words can perfectly describe somethings). It was soundless, calm pleasantries. I slept last night, tired and hungry, and I woke up not feeling 100% well. But I both slept and woke up to greetings from my family and friends, and the thought occurred of how simple, small gifts can make someone already very happy, only if they expect the least of all things.
Every time I turn a year older, I write my first feelings during the first few minutes of that particular age. This year, I wrote my last: I was not ready to be 22. But with 9 minutes left before midnight, time had yet again proven that it doesn’t wait for anyone, and it surely did not wait for me to be ready. I am so attached to 21. I think it’s because of how much has changed in just one year. How much I’ve grown, how many I’ve met, how much I’ve done.
How much I’ve learned. The satisfaction of friendship, the inexistence of the impossible, the meaning of a dream, the value of family, and best of all, the importance of time.
There is this quote that goes, “love is the small things that feel so insignificant, until you look back and see that those moments were indeed the highlights of your life.” This just speaks so much to me and I have been a firm believer in small, simple moments since.
I just think of how true and real it is. And I am grateful, because despite 22 in all its reluctance and unreadiness – I left 21, knowing in my heart that I had experienced all that I needed to, at that age through all the simple moments that had compiled and become whole. These are the moments that people take so much for granted, who don’t even dare to think twice about them until 10 years have passed, or maybe it just never crosses their minds at all. We are all waiting for great, grand adventures, when really it is the unplanned spontaneity that make up the big parts of our lives.
It’s eating with your best friend after class, and chatting about nonsensical things yet again. It’s listening to someone playing the piano, and their sharing and pouring all that passion in the form of music out into the air unto you. It’s talking to someone for the first time, and knowing they will matter to you and the beauty of rare friendship. It’s the late night driving with your dad, on your way to the airport, and seeing your brother once more. It’s the rare yearly visits and the suddenness of deep talks. It is walking home with your best friends at night, just rambling noisily and shouting every now and then – not even thinking whether the neighbours are going to wake. It is sitting outside school, and hearing someone share their deepest fears, and secrets, hopes and dreams – and being slightly overwhelmed at how someone could be so full of life and of feelings. It is wandering in the streets at early morning’s time, looking for a place open to have breakfast. It’s talking to someone new the whole night, and even if you don’t get a wink of sleep – the next day it is as if you have been reborn. It’s this age, and this day, and the people who were there beside my body and within my heart. It is being at your best friend’s side, without any words – just comfortable silence, the passing of time, and appreciation that they are there. It is getting lost and being scared of never finding your way home. It is finding home, at last.
That’s it for today’s entry, I hope that you were able to gain something new and useful. See you again, next week!
caitdegreat 