I’ve been such a terrible [professional] blogger, so here’s a little life-update snippet on one of my most important days.
Birthdays have always been important to me. My own, and those of my closest family and friends. There is something I find to be so significant about birthdays. It’s the culmination of a year’s worth of adventures, struggles, and lessons. I know that as people grow older, they begin to care less. But for some reason, I can never find it within myself to stop caring. Or at least, not just yet.
The weird thing is, I still remember bits of exactly this date, last year. I felt pleasant. Still super fresh from heart-ache, this new blog, and my Japan adventures. And now one year later, my feelings are just totally.. different.
This year, honestly. Days before my birthday, I felt scared, sad, and ready. Scared because 22 is such a lovely age, and I honestly don’t want to grow a year older yet because I can feel the pressures of a self-sustaining adult grow more and more each year. Which I know is stupid, but the clock is ticking. Sad because, I don’t want the magic of my birthday to end too quick. Which, is also pretty stupid. I mean, all things must end.
But ready because, I also believe that I am done with 22. I am ready to leave it all behind. Those happy times of traveling abroad, being with my closest friends, singing til I can’t anymore, learning something new, taking pictures, seeing beautiful blue skies and oceans. Those sad times of graduating with too many complications, leaving my friends behind, fighting. Getting sad and heart-broken over things that are not meant to be. And those confusing times of feeling completely hopeless, and not really knowing what to do.
They have done me well. They have made me stronger, wiser, and happier. And among all the things I was able to achieve, I am glad that I was able to find peace with those closest to me at 22. If 21 was an age of discovering dreams and my own spirituality, 22 was all about achieving genuine happiness with both my family and friends. So after 20+ years of strategising and wondering about my future, I have finally accepted and made peace with it.
Rebirth. I am ready to take all these feelings with me as I turn 23. And just experience more. I guess one last thing I have to say is that I am really lucky and blessed to have the people I have in my life, which I say constantly. My family and friends who have given me their time, presence, hearts, knowledge, and most importantly, their words.
Here’s to entering 23, with amazing friends, a closer family, happiness and new kinds of love, endless dreams accompanied by determination, and belief in the strength of prayer.
Cheers!
caitdegreat 