It’s a Sunday, and Sundays are strangely one of the busiest days of my week. It’s 8:00am now, and today, I plan to do the following tasks: meet for Miss Donki, review for the GMAT, do my monthly restart (shared in another blog), edit a graphic design commission, and bathe my dog, Doogie.
Today, I wanted to share the a typical day in my life as a student/small business owner, specifically the highlights of my day, some strategies I use to work efficiently, and just some small learnings that could be helpful to other people.
It’s a Sunday, and Sundays are strangely one of the busiest days of my week. It’s 8:00am now, and today, I plan to do the following tasks: meet for Miss Donki, review for the GMAT, do my monthly restart (shared in another blog), edit a graphic design commission, and bathe my dog, Doogie.
Today, I wanted to share the a typical day in my life as a student/small business owner, specifically the highlights of my day, some strategies I use to work efficiently, and just some small learnings that could be helpful to other people.
We’ve now reached the final week of May. Did I do well? I’d like to think so.. Instead of feeling nervous about the future, I find myself excited and hopeful. I’ve done everything I could, given our situation. I’ve worked on my health the past 2 months and did not take people’s concern for granted. I genuinely feel happier than I’ve ever been before.
We’ve now reached the final week of May. Did I do well? I’d like to think so.. Instead of feeling nervous about the future, I find myself excited and hopeful. I’ve done everything I could, given our situation. I’ve worked on my health the past 2 months and did not take people’s concern for granted. I genuinely feel happier than I’ve ever been before.
I’ve struggled with productivity and perfectionism, for as long as I can remember. Something that has affected my life, drastically.
If I’m not productive, I’m not worthy.
If I can’t perfect a task, I procrastinate.
If I don’t accomplish my goals, then I quit.
I’m afraid of letting people down.
An ongoing cycle.
Like every illness, it started out as a symptom. There was always something off about not getting that perfect score. In college, something devastating, about not being above average. At work, something unacceptable, not being able to contribute to my maximum potential. I’ve cried, lost a lot of weight, changed courses, quit my job, surprised and disappointed the people I care about. I’ve caused eyebrow-raises, statements of ‘that was fast,’ and questions of ‘so where to next?’
When I was unemployed last year for a good 6 months – I became so insecure about myself. It was then I decided to work extra hard at a very uncertain time. I tried out small businesses (some of which did not flourish as I would’ve hoped, some which did), and I was earning more money than I’ve ever earned in my life. It felt good. The productivity. The hustle. The achievements.
For a while.
But I still couldn’t find meaning in what I was doing. I was afraid of instability. I sought labels and promotions. I let society pressure me into finding employment, causing me to leave behind what I started on my own. Thinking employment would finally grant me happiness and meaning.
This spiraled me into having at least 5 breakdowns in a month. I stopped eating. I either could not sleep, or overslept. My anxiety was at its peak. All because I felt, even with an amazing new job, team, and a sideline – I was not hustling enough.
I quit again.
And I decided, to change.
I’ve been talking to my parents more lately, ever since I opened up to them about my struggles. I was surprised to learn from my mom, that majority of her life, she too hustled. My father even more so (to the point my parents never had a honeymoon). Now, at 58 years old, already have lived 3/4th’s of life, my mom thinks back and wishes she’d explored more during her youth
I’ve started writing again.
I’m slowing down. I’m setting goals. I’m finding my purpose. I’m researching and learning everything my heart put on hold.
I’m trusting the process.
I’m sharing my experience, because you can get burnt out at 25. A gentle reminder to people who’ve struggled with this type of culture, that there is no long-term meaning and fulfillment in overdoing productivity.
Find what you love and do it. Talk to your friends. Spend time with your family, with your significant others. Play with your pets. Protect your mind. Follow your heart.
Cause why wait to realize at 58 years old, hustling is not what life’s about.
It’s the first blog of caitdegreat for 2021. Just like that, one month has already passed.
First thing’s first, I started off the New Year with a few new habits I thought were worth trying out in 2021:
Meditation
Morning Pages / Future Self Journaling
Reading (fiction and non-fiction)
Waking up early
Sharing more online
Daily Affirmations
While I was only able to be consistent a little more than halfway through the month, most of these new habits definitely set my mind for the year. The only ‘needs improvement’ on the list would be item number four, because I ended up waking at 7:00am (which is not early for me), a habit I need to work on further this February.
My favorite new habits were meditation and morning pages. I’ll save a more detailed explanation in a later blog, once I get the swing of things but they are essentially forms of manifestation and awareness of one’s self. In times of anxiety and pressure, I find that writing my thoughts would relax me, the way it always has for more than 10 years of my life.
Now, I say my consistency only lasted a while because at some point I let a lot of my thoughts on loneliness affect the end of my January. The past two weeks were a constant battle between waking up to ‘another day of being lonely’ and ‘I am grateful for my life.’ Despite this, I am looking deeply forward to February. So to all those who are struggling in the midst of this pandemic, due to loneliness – I just want to let you know you are definitely not alone. I am here, and I’ll try my best to recommend ways to cope in the future (gimme a bit of time to experiment more).
Now! Unto my favorite things for the month. I say favorites because these people and objects definitely made my January more than bearable, and actually wonderful.
Coffee Favorite: Kori-Kohi from UCC Cafe (it’s pricey, but I love it) – ₱240
I love beginnings. There’s always something so upbeat and motivating about the start of a new year, and all the more, a new decade. There is a rush that comes just as a year turns. SO in this new entry, I thought it’d be interesting to do 5 Q&A.
caitdegreat 